What to do when your spouse isn’t down with the monthly budget 53

money and marriage tips derek and carrie olsen podcast

You are jazzed about organizing your finances.

You are excited about working a monthly budget and feeling better about money.

Your spouse?

Not so much!

Carrie and I talk about what you can do to get your spouse on board with organizing your finances.

What you can do:

Focus on the areas of your finances where you can make an impact by yourself.

Lead by example through taking action, not by nagging.

Show your spouse the freedom found within a budget, not the restrictions.

Use the “pull strategy”.

Track spending. When your spouse sees where the money is going they might be convinced and join you.

Seeing progress is motivating. Even if you are the only one doing the work, they benefit and that might get them on board.

How to approach your spouse:

Assume innocence. Your partner might not be at fault for not being as excited as you are.

Start with the WHY or the vision. What are the positive results of organizing your budget?

Cast a vision and talk in emotional terms, not just dollars and cents.

Create a 5-year plan.

Mention something your spouse WILL be able to do or have as a result of working a budget. (Don’t only focus on what they WONT be able to do or have.)

Tell him how important it is to you. How you feel.

Don’t blame or attack them.

Start small, don’t do a huge overhaul, it could get overwhelming and be a turn off. Start with how much you are both spending, and on what, instead of starting with all the things you are going to cut out of the budget.

If your spouse still isn’t convinced:

Ask your spouse why they are opposed, then DON’T try to change their mind, let them work it out for themselves.

It could take months for your spouse to agree to work with you on the budget. For one couple it took a year, but it worked!

You can’t change people, keep doing your best, don’t give up, have hope!

Money is important in a relationship, but it’s not everything.

What has worked for you?

-Derek, Carrie, Amelie

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