Stealing From Your Spouse: Better Conversations on Money and Marriage with Derek and Carrie Olsen. Ep. 005


Derek and Carrie Olsen Better Conversations Podcast Money and Marriage

Have you been stealing money from your partner? (Tweet this)

Jennifer Smith had a moment of weakness at Target.

(Can you really blame her?)

“I didn’t wait long to call my husband.  In humility and embarrassment I told my husband what I had done.  I apologized for not letting him know my plans or asking if what I wanted to do would be ok.  I repented of my actions and affirmed my husband that I would be more intentional about being in agreement of how we spend our money.”

Read more about Jennifer’s moment of weakness.

If your money is combined into one bank account, is it possible to steal from your spouse?

Don’t ask me, ask the budget.

It might feel like you are asking for permission from your partner to spend some extra money, but you aren’t. What you are really doing is setting him or her up to be the good guy or the bad guy. Receiving the approval from your partner doesn’t necessarily make it OK to over-spend, it just makes it feel OK. Now the two of you have overspend, together.

Your budget is the person you should really be asking permission from. The two of you should together review the budget to see if you have room for this extra purchase. Permission from each other simply isn’t enough. Now you are both guilty of conspiring to overspend.

Your budget is an un-biased third party.

When the two of you created your budget at the beginning of the month, you created a living creature. You can’t keep secrets from your budget. You can’t implement any creative mathematical gymnastics either. Any spending outside the parameters of your budget will show up. It does not matter how much permission you grant each other.


Have you found yourself feeling like you stole money from your partner?


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Entertaining and thought provoking conversations on money and marriage in less than 20 minutes.


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Introductionist: J.Money

(Thanks buddy!)

I’m 6’1, hyperactive, rock a ‘hawk, like drinking beer, blaring hip-hop, playing with my new baby, and am now in my early 30′s – unlike when I started this blog 5 years ago in my 20′s! Oh, and I’m a sucker for old American coins.

More fun facts about J.Money at Budgets Are Sexy and Rockstar Finance.